Meet Liza Nelson, blogger of “Alice in Memoryland”

Reprinted with permission from AlzAuthors.com

By Liza Nelson

Before my husband was diagnosed, I had never heard of MCI. Before my husband was diagnosed, we teased each other about our failing memories. Yes, he was weirdly forgetful, but I was worse at names–speaking of which, on my blog www.aliceinmemoryland.comI have changed our names to Alice and Ralph at the request of my husband, a private man. He is a man with a sense of humor, a fondness for“The Honeymooners,” and a not infrequent desire to send me to the moon.

In the two years before my husband was diagnosed, as his memory and mood deteriorated, our joking with each other dried up. I was increasingly scared and embarrassed for my husband, more often angry with him. Our long marriage had been passionate, but often out of kilter as our two strong personalities engaged and clashed and re-engaged. Then, in our late fifties/early sixties, we seemed to have found a happy equilibrium and began enjoying our marriage in earnest. Now here was Ralph ruining everything with what I saw as his inattention and disinterest in me and our lives.

Then came the diagnosis: MCI verging on Early Alzheimer’s. It has frankly been a relief to have a name for the still subtle but profound transformation in Ralph’s mental process affecting his behavior and our relationship. For the last five years, since a spinal tap showed the plaque build-up that predicts Alzheimer’s, the changes have been incremental but profound as we wait for his condition to slide into full blown Alzheimer’s, a disease that will strike more and more couples in the next decades.

Every case of memory loss or dementia, or any irreversible illness for that matter, is different. I cannot speak for anyone else going through the early stages of memory loss with a spouse. But having read other blogs and several books, I wanted to do something slightly different in sharing our experience. Starting from the beginning of Ralph and my journey down the memory rabbit hole, I have tried to use both key moments and the smallest details of our life to explore my own reactions, as a caregiver and also as a woman and a wife. After all, marriage is a relationship based on choice and commitment, not to mention the emotions and intimacy of love that poets and philosophers still struggle to understand.

Although I have published in the past as a novelist, poet and journalist, writing the truth about my past and present life with Ralph has been an enormous challenge. While I write about the moments of joy—and those moments do still happen—I also write frankly about my darker moments and feeling. I am frequently afraid that I am going to disgust readers in exposing my selfishness, my lack of patience, my resentments, and sometimes my fury. Instead, whenever I think I may have gone too far, readers respond with enormous support. They seem to appreciate putting a truth they recognize into words, however unpretty it may be.

It’s an incredibly lonely business caring for someone on the Alzheimer’s spectrum. I am so glad I have found a community in which I can speak my truth and be heard, that in helping others I have found help in return.

About the Author

Liza Nelson, who writes her blog https://aliceinmemoryland.com under the name Alice Cramdon, is the author of the novel Playing Botticelli and co-author of the James Beard nominated The Book of Feasts. She has worked as a journalist, dramaturge, real estate manager, wife and mother. She lives on a farm outside Newnan, Georgia.

Connect with Liza:

Facebook

Author web page

Twitter:

@LizaNelson1

@AliceMemoryLand 

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The Power of Community

by Irene Frances Olson, AlzAuthors Global Outreach Coordinator

The quickest method to connect with someone is the virtual, social media connection with which we are all familiar. But unless a person crosses the precipice from virtual to real, there is no way to truly understand the benefit of in-person relationships.

That was the case for the AlzAuthors Management Team when all six of us convened at the 2018 National Caregiving Conference in Chicago. The team was generously gifted with the opportunity to gather from the corners of the world from which we hail: the states of Washington, Montana, Ohio, North Carolina, and New York, and the Canadian province of Ontario. Meeting for the first time was a highly anticipated emotional event that proved beyond beneficial to me. You think you know someone after spending months or years emailing, texting, and video-calling, but what I discovered is you can’t truly know a person until extended “facetime” occurs.

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AlzAuthors In-Person Connections. Upper Left: Lisa B. Capp, Jean Lee, Vicki Tapia, Irene Frances Olson; Upper Right: Florrie Munat & Ann Campanella; Lower Right: Bobbi Carducci & Marianne Sciucco; Lower Left: Kathryn Harrison & Jean Lee

I met with as many conference attendees as I could and having done so, I came away concluding that community is everything. Like-minded individuals – at least 250 of them – gathered together for several days to feed the spirit, nourish the soul, and further the mission of being a support to the weary caregiver.

Regardless of which disease renders a person in need of care – Alzheimer’s, cancer, ALS, and the like – caregiver heroes need as much support as can be given. A powerful community goes a long way toward lessening a person’s burden, and as AlzAuthors has been known to say:

One can sing a lonely song, but we chose to form a choir and create harmony.

Six-pack Winner
Winner of the NCC18 AlzAuthors 6-Pack Giveaway

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New Release! Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiving Stories, Volume 1, an AlzAuthors Anthology

AlzAuthors AnthologyThe AlzAuthors management team is pleased to announce the publication of Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiving Stories: 58 Authors Share their Inspiring Personal Experiences, Vol. 1. This poignant collection of stories grew out of the first year’s blog posts on AlzAuthors.com, from June 1, 2016 through May 31, 2017. Within its pages, you will be immersed in a world of writing about Alzheimer’s and dementia.

The contributing authors have all been touched by Alzheimer’s and dementia, whether they live with the disease, are caregivers, or simply care. They reveal the story behind their books, what made them sit down and painstakingly share their story, and what they have gained from doing so.

This year-long project was made possible through the international collaboration of seven women, all daughters of dementia, your AlzAuthors management team.  We have worked tirelessly to find and vet resources – memoir, novels, nonfiction, poetry, children’s books, and blogs – to provide those living with dementia a friendly place to find the support and knowledge they need. We believe that by sharing our stories we open a dialogue that not only reduces the stigma surrounding a dementia diagnosis, but enlightens others to the reality that “I made it through. You can too.”

Heartfelt thanks go to our Special Projects Editor Jay Artale, author of  A Turbulent Mind: A Poetry Collection of a Mother’s Journey with Alzheimer’s,  who  donated countless hours to the design and formatting of this beautiful book.

In early 2019, we will begin the process of creating Volume 2, which will consist of posts from June 1, 2017 through May 31, 2018.

This book would make a wonderful gift for a caregiver you may know who is in need of knowledge, support, and comfort. Please keep it in mind as you do your holiday shopping. It is currently available on Amazon in Kindle format. Purchase here. A paperback is in the works and should be published within the next week or two.

All proceeds from anthology sales will be used by AlzAuthors.comto maintain our site and promote our authors’ books.

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